This article is classified "Real"
If you are looking for a bit of excitement, then Mountain Home is not for you. Mountain Home, population about 500 humans and 10,000 skunks, is a small town that most people forgot to put on the world map, for reasons which will be explained later. Its largest attraction is Bull Shoals Lake, which supplies hydroelectric power for much of Northern Arkansas, and fish for the tourists which will be explained later. Another attraction is Lake Norfork, which is almost the same as Bull Shoals Lake, only with more fish than Bull Shoals because we stayed at Bull Shoals. It's third largest attraction is its horribly slow traffic signals, which sometimes leave you time to gather straw for a bed, shower, sleep for ten hours on the bed just built, shower again (to get the straw off), shave, shower again (to get the shave off), and finally put on work clothes, brew a few pots of coffee, drink a few pots of coffee, and run back home to get the paper before the light changes. Then you have to be one of the first three cars in line before it changes back to red for another twelve hours. Nightlife consists of sleeping. Daylife consists of waving at foreigners with both hands while carrying a cord of wood. When there, if you decide to go there, which is not advisable, try Fred's Fish House. Award-winning Catfish and Hush Puppies weeded directly from Lake Norfork. Quite the meal... also a good hamburger for the non-fish- eaters. Also, try going to Midway, which is on the way to Bull Shoals Lake. It's a town at the junction of many roads, one of which leads to the airport. Quite the facility... better than Des Moines International, although Baxter County Regional is just a little "Fly to Little Rock" service. If I wanted to fly to Little Rock, there's where I would fly from. Also, go to Batty's Resort... it's on Promised Land Road, a few miles out of Midway on Hwy 5. Just follow the hyper-reflective signs. Be sure to tell Bob and Bev before you move into a cabin, though. Please note that I'm not paid by any of these places... I'm just a disgruntled customer. Oh, one more thing: When passing through Midway on Hwy 5, don't stop at the Conoco Station. Mucho expensive!