This article is classified "Real"
Occasionally, when you are not dealing with lack of time, you are dealing
with an excess of time. While rare, it can happen. So, enclosed below,
are twenty-six ways to kill time.
***WARNING*** Do NOT attempt to unplug an atomic clock! ***WARNING***
1) Organize. It never hurts to prepare for dealing with the
lack of time.
2) Work. It never hurts to get money to spend for the next
time time is plenty!
3) Clean dryer lint filter. This may be why you have soggy
towels.
4) Buy postal stamps. Every time I need a stamp, I just
thank myself for stocking up on them when I was killing time.
5) Write a Guide article. New field reporters accepted daily!
6) Stock up on weather forecasts. Instead of wasting a few hours
looking for a weather forecast, why not stock up on them?
They usually last for 3-5 days, if kept refrigerated.
7) Wax your automobile, if you have one. Preventative
maintenance.
8) Clean your GuideNET Terminal. Preventative maintenance.
9) Remove arachnid webs from dwelling. They are known to annoy
even the most unsanitary hitchhiker.
10) Grease your lunchbox hinges. Squeaky hinges ruin appetites.
11) Clean your air conditioner filter, if you have one.
Allergies go bye-bye.
12) Spend a day pushing buttons in an elevator.
13) Learn CPR. You never know when your ticker will tick out.
14) Learn the Heimlich Maneuver. You never know when you'll
bite your last bite.
15) Learn First Aid. You never know when you'll get a fatal
injury.
16) Get a GuideNET Update. Preventative maintenance.
17) Ride the bus. Also good for killing money.
18) Give blood. H+ is in demand.
19) Cuddle your cat. Cats have feelings, too.
20) Shoot your clock. That will defiantly kill time.
21) Empty your rain gauge. Mine accumulated 4,000 centimeters
one time.
22) Watch television. Educational programs spawn more and
more time, though.
23) Read a book. You could actually LEARN something.
24) Dip into public baths. Look for signs that say "Swimming
Pool". (Note: some hitchhikers should pay special attention
to this suggestion.)
25) Observe vehicles traverse by. Watch out for city lawn mowers.
26) Organize your lint collection. 'nuff said.