This article is classified "Real"
Most problems with creative writing these days stem from deadlines.
It's the old story of:
1) Writer gets commission to write something.
2) Publisher says "jolly good" and goes off to annoy another
less fortunate writer.
3) Writer attempts to write something, but gives up, thinking
"I'll start tomorrow."
4) Publisher tells writer to finish current chapter by the end
of the month.
5) Writer goes to lots of parties and forgets about deadline.
6) Publisher gets irritable when first deadline passes.
7) Writer has lots more fun at parties, and attempts to explain
away hangover by calling it "writer's block."
8) Publisher gets angry and sets another deadline.
9) Writer tries to do some writing, and misses said deadline.
10) Repeat steps 6 & 7 for a few times until everyone gets dizzy.
11) Writer eventually finishes book.
12) Publisher is happy, and pays writer copious amounts of money.
13) Writer is mobbed by scores of marauding fans armed to the
teeth with autograph books.
To avoid these unpleasant situations, try the following system instead:
1) Think up an idea for you to write about. Don't tell anyone
about it.
2) Lock yourself away in a room with your word processor,
microwave cooker, and several heat-and-eat meals.
3) If anyone asks what you are doing, say you are playing one of
those computer games that is so complicated, if you leave it
now, you'll never complete it, ever.
4) Write the book, without pressure of deadlines or death threats
from irritable publishers.
5) When the book is finished, tell Publisher that you have an
idea for a book (sneaky huh?).
6) Publisher says "jolly good" and wonders which unfortunate
writer to intimidate next.
7) Writer goes to lots of parties, and forgets about nasty
Publisher.
8) Publisher sets lots of deadlines, and is surprised when...
9) Writer magically makes all the deadlines.
10) Everyone is happy, and writer gains reputation as a miracle
worker.
I think you will agree this is a far better system than the first, since it
avoids all those nasty headaches, vicious confrontations over the phone,
premature hair loss, drunken let-me-forget-everything stupors, and sleepless
nights that are usually associated with writing wonderful works of
literature.
Of course, you could just ignore everything in this section and go to a
party.