This article is classified "Real"
Alcohol, as has already been noted, has an intoxicating effect on certain
carbon-based lifeforms. Guilt also has an effect but this is a
detoxicating effect and this occurs mainly with students with their
fundamental concerns with money, and goes something like this:
AFTER ONE PINT - "oh God, that could have been a pound of mince"
AFTER TWO PINTS - "God, that could have been two ring binders"
AFTER THREE PINTS - "God, that could have been thirty biros"
AFTER FOUR PINTS - "God, that could have been a pascal manual"
...and so on ad infinitum
So as the alcohol intake goes up, the guilt therefore goes up. Eventually
the two equalize at a point around six to eight pints therefore students
cannot get drunk!
(Note: Students are found drunk quite often; this is due to guilt-reducing
drugs, such as large quantities of alcohol.)