This article is classified "Real"
The Technical University of Berlin (TUB) was recently ranked the 7th worst
university in Germany. The TUB is also one of the ten largest universities
in Germany. The coexistence of these facts could be explained by one of the
following reasons :
1. Students don't care about the quality of their education.
2. Students don't care about rankings.
3. Students don't care about anything.
Answer three is the most possible selection, because thinking about the
studying conditions at German universities is regarded as extremely
dangerous to your mental health.
Responsible for this (as well as for most of our problems which won't be
discussed here) is, of course, money. Since the end of the '70's (meant are
the 1970's, but due to the short life span of humans no living person really
remembers what the 1870's (or 1770's...) were like, thus we can save these
two digits) the number of students grew enormously, while the financial and
material equipment of the universities remained practically unchanged.
Today the universities are so crowded that two students have to share one
seat; well, they are not really sitting on top of each other, that's just
to illustrate the numbers.
The Big Strike of '88:
Due to this fact, many students were unhappy and in the autumn of 1988 the
TUB students went on strike. You may ask: "Why should anybody care if
people who don't produce anything go on strike?" But the majority of
students were too busy being creative strikers to notice, while some didn't
dare ask such a heretical question, and the rest weren't convinced of the
whole thing anyway.
So, they went on with demonstrations and meetings until the end of the winter
term, in February 1989. When there were no more lectures to stay away from,
they couldn't keep on striking and the whole affair died quietly.
The year 1989 was then renamed into 1988b, so they could forever refer to
the "Big Strike of 88."
The Situation Today:
Like it was said before, nothing changed (well, not really nothing, but
nothing that is worth mentioning here). The TUB grew and grew, and has
recently reached the 40,000 students mark. The male/female ratio is 2:1
(overall), but in some divisions, especially engineering and other technical
disciplines the ratio leaps up to 16:1!
BEWARE FEMALE HITCHHIKERS! Don't wear short skirts or high heels if you
visit one of these divisions, except if you like to receive the same
attention the earth population would pay to an alien invasion.
Remember, when the TUB was founded in 1879 the ratio was infinite to one,
so not everything got worse, and if a male student knows where the
biologists or the elementary school teachers have their parties, he can get
through quite well.
TUBSAT:
A really remarkable thing is the TUBSAT-A, the university's own satellite
(you'll never guess what the abbreviation stands for). It was carried to
orbit with the ERS-1 launch in '91, where it was used as ballast. Right now
it is used as ballast for the aerospace students, who have to calculate its
position. By watching the satellite's flight path you can also prove that
Newton's law of gravity is right, if your head hitting the table after your
10th beer isn't proof enough to you.
Anyway, the little sputnik (yes, it makes beep noises) will complete its
10,000th revolution soon and in September '93 the second TUBSAT, TUBSAT-B,
will be launched with a Russian rocket (boy, the times are changin').