This article is classified "Real"
A respectable hitchhiker is, of course, a contradiction in terms. Hence, one of the places towards which hitchhikers gravitate is frequently a college, university or other location of purportedly higher education. Here one can encounter eccentric geniuses, promiscuous political science students, robotic graduate students, and the occasional sober engineer. Also present are libraries, laboratories, computers, security staff, cafeterias, and professors. To this standard design, McGill University adds one refinement: large falling masses of ice and snow. The extreme steepness of many roofs at McGill means that in spring one must exercise extreme caution when moving from building to building, unless one enjoys the tingly feeling of having a 50-centimeter icicle embedded in one's cranium. Smart visitors either avoid walking under eaves or stay away from the eastern side of the campus. Extremely smart visitors may leave immediately (or, better yet, avoid McGill completely) but they will miss the opportunity to visit the University Center, recently renamed the William Shatner University Center to honor a past graduate who has done absolutely nothing for the university, but a great deal for comedians. Despite this drawback, McGill is still a wonderful place to visit. Not because of anything intrinsically fascinating in the institution itself, but because of its central location in the downtown core of Montreal. A walk of fifteen minutes in one direction will put you in front of the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts and its attendant art galleries, high-toned boutiques, and ferociously expensive restaurants (where to enter wearing denim will lead to immediate arrest); going in the other direction, one will wind up on St. Laurent street, remarkable for the highest concentration of tattoo parlors in the city (handy for occupying those one-hour breaks between classes). There is an odd dichotomy at McGill. It was built from donations by rich, privileged Montrealers, and practically all of its buildings bear their names. The usual tie-dyed minority complains of the bedrock of oppression McGill rests upon, yet, instead of leaving the place in disgust, they write articles for the newspapers and demand partial funding for staff parties. (This is similar to the Guide's system, except that the Guide is acquired voluntarily.) The rest of the student body ignores them, and continues kicking recycling bins out of the way as it stampedes into courses rumored to be easy A's. Unfortunately, McGill's past status as the premier educational institution in Canada is shrinking rapidly (like its enrollment). Library underfunding, a multi-million dollar debt, a declining and pathetic student population, and the increasing stupidity of both student and academic administrations, all point toward a dark future. Hitchhikers wishing to visit McGill as a university, and not as a collection of decaying buildings, are advised to hurry.