Dealing With The Lack Of Time

Time Expands To Fill Available Space

by Vincent Joseph Shuta (shutavj@scranton.com)
written 22 Nov 1992

This article is classified "Fictional"


It's a common complaint of most sentient beings in the galaxy that
there isn't enough time to accomplish everything.  The time allotted
for projects, assignments, and those tasks necessary for daily life
is always less than the time required to accomplish the projects,
assignments, and daily tasks.  The general response to such laments
is "Get organized."  This is not often welcome advice because if one
had the time to get organized, then there would be enough time to
accomplish everything: adding "Get organized" to the list doesn't help.

This has led to an entire industry based on time-saving devices:
Microwave ovens, electric can openers, automatic cat feeders, etc.
Although some of these devices have been shown to save time, the
overall effect is minimal, and the complaints have not dropped too
much.  (The overall effect on the lives of the inventors has been
quite amazing, since they can now afford to hire people to do
everything for them.  The overall effect on the hired people has
been the opposite, since they now have that much less time, due to
the added task of catering to the inventors.  This creates a balance
so the overall figures are not affected.)

Some psychologists at Golgafrincham University Polar Campus (also
known as "Snow U") developed a theory that people schedule any free
time they have for fear of boredom.  This has never been fully
developed however, since the same psychologists were sent off in
the now infamous B Ark.

As a side note, the rest of the psychologists stayed home.  They of
course were key figures in Golgafrincham's population reduction
plans.  The only ones who weren't working on that project were those
who weren't considered that good.  And although it was a tad
embarrassing for all involved when they came up with a major theory,
it was easily taken care of.

See also:
  • Boredom
  • Top Twenty-Six Ways To Kill Time

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